In the latest episode of A Real Chance of Love, the boys did their own little version of Trick or Treating. minus the promotional Halloween products. The goodies? No promotional keychains and not even a chocolate bar. What instead? The 16 remaining women of a Real Chance of Love.
One by one the girls rang the doorbell and tried to "sell themselves." To some, like White Baller, this came naturally. The pretty girl did a variation of gymnastic moves including an, "I can literally bend over backwards for you guys," upside down stretch. It won her a date with the guys. And she later scored some lip time after explaining her independent self to Chance. Treat.
Lady ding-donged and rapped while hulla-hooping. Not impressive enough. She then told Real that she used to date women. That however, did impress him. Trick.
Wiggly, wiggles, wig-wag. The poor thing. She wrote Real a letter, an epic letter (in size not content) and actually put the "sensitive" guy to bed reading it. She later put on a bikini and made for two of the most awkward reality television moments I've ever witnessed. There's no damn chemistry there. Nada. Seriously send this weirdo home already. Trick.
Sassy really ding-donged. The girl walked in the door in a tight black dress and with a whip in hand. "Hello nice to meet you, wanna’ role play?" I'm not sure if I'd go about business that way, but the spanking did win her a date. Treat.
A bunch of the other ladies did an unimpressive job of selling themselves. P.S. brought ties to tie around the guys. Why don't you get a job at Sears, babe. Trick. Apple read a haiku that didn't mean anything special to me or either of the Stallionaires. And Hot Wings threw the guys a football. A noble effort at showing them she's more then just a Hooters girl. Cute- but not exciting. Trick. Trick.
Pocahontas didn't joke around. She played the God card right away. "I prayed that Got would send me a godly man." Did you also pray to get some exposure on this sleazy television show? If so, I guess your prayers are being answered. She made Real rosary beads and won a date. Treat.
Spanish Fly is another one that's used to selling herself. And oh did these boys buy her. The nude calendar that she gave them created a soft spot in their hearts and an invitation to hangout later on the winners date. Treat.
Doll. Doll. Doll. This sweet lady put on a dress. Really, that was about it. But I'd say she's a treat! The guys didn't invite her on the date though. Trick.
Mamacita and her Mexican self decided that a bottle of Tequila and some shot glasses would be a good time. Unfortunately she didn't go to waitressing school and dropped the shot glasses just as the guys told her to come in. Epic FAIL. She then gets a little one on one time where when asked if she’s here for them or for television opportunities, says, "All of the above. Epic-er FAIL. This girls on the chopping block. Salsa anyone? Trick.
Oh and Junk. Junkity, junk. She brought pom-poms and jumped up and down with her back to the boys. I still can't figure out why she'd do that... But they liked what they saw, or felt, or wow that thing's huge. Junk also got a date.
All of the girls were then invited to a prom since Real and Chance never made it to their own. The catch? If you weren't one of the winners your prom was at the house and your wardrobe was 80s glam. The winners? They got a romantic getaway prom in lovely gowns. There was food and dancing and to be honest, it looked like that group of seven was having a blast. It was a genuine goodtime kind of vibe that gave me some hope for this show.
In the end, the two girls that disappointed most this week were weirdo Wiggly and Mamacita. Happy for me, the boys made the right choice and kept one of my top 5 picks. Mamacita has another Real, Chance of Love, but Wiggly had to shake it out the door. If she could do it all over again?
"I would probably definitely been up their ass and been like yo, here. I’m here, I’m here, I’m here, and try to make a connection," she said in her exit interview. Wow. Because that looooong profession of your obsessive love for Real and that thong bikini visit to his room later wasn't "Up his ass" enough.
Someone has got to start making promotional bags with these crazy lady’s quotes. They’re ridiculous and I’d wear them proudly. Til’ next time. Mondays @ 9 on VH1.
Bye, Bye Wiggles.
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