Well folks, the news I have been dreading to hear is upon us. For those of you who haven't heard by now, the TV show "Alcatraz" has been cancelled by FOX. Much like the real inmates of the prison for which the show is named after, the show was unable to escape the harsh scrutiny of the network.

     In case you were frozen in carbonite for the past six months, "Alcatraz" was about the supposed closing of the Alcatraz prison on March 21, 1963. The premise of the show is that it wasn't closed due to unsafe conditions, but due to the fact that all the prisoners and guards have vanished without a trace. You find out that the disappearance was a government operation, and a special agency was developed to handle the prisoners when they returned to modern day San Francisco. However, the prisoners return with no recollection of where they were, along compulsions to find certain objects and to continue their criminal habits. The show started out strong with 10 million viewers, and it had renewed the public's interest in the actual Alcatraz prison. It got to the point that the National Park Service has had to install warning signs for its public tours. Fans of the show had broken away from tours in an attempt to find the "nerve center" that is shown underneath the prison.

     While the show started out high viewership, unfortunately it did not last. It aired on Monday nights, and once other shows on other networks started their new seasons, people left "Alcatraz" to go back to their shows. After that happened, the ratings fell. If FOX just put the show on Wednesdays at eight, when NOTHING is on, Alcatraz would have done just fine. I find it unfair that a TV show suffers because all networks are clamoring to be the Monday night king. So because of the unwillingness to change the time slot, they decided to cancel the show, and piss off plenty of viewers who will never know why these prisoners have come back. I just wonder what they will do with all those left over "Alcatraz" promotional t-shirts they won't be able to sell.

     Let's face it, Lady Gaga is HUGE. Her music is widely popular, and her likeness is easily marketable and profitable. She is a power house in the music industry, and everyone knows who she is. She is known for her outlandish acts and wardrobe, but also uses that notoriety to push a message that it's OK to be different. A message like that resonates well with all, especially a younger generation that has been hit hard with bully epidemic. So with a personality that encompasses so much, it should come as no surprise that Lady Gaga will be a guest on "The Simpsons".

     For those you living under a rock for the last 25 years, The Simpsons is an animated sitcom created by Matt Groening for FOX. The series is a parody of a middle class American lifestyle as animated through family of the same name, which consists of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. The show is set in the fictional town of Springfield and parodies American culture, society, television and many aspects of the human condition. The Simpsons is the longest-running American sitcom, and the longest-running American animated program. The Simpsons has won dozens of awards since it debuted as a series, including 27 Primetime Emmy Awards, 30 Annie Awards and a Peabody Award. So as you can see, being a part of this show is an honor.

     Gaga is set to appear in this season's finale of the Simpsons, airing Sunday, May 20th. In typical Gaga fashion, she will have 18 outfit changes in the show, as well as a song a song that teaches Lisa that individuality beats conformity. I feel this is a great way to end this season, and I cannot wait to see how this turns out. Who knows, maybe she will make it into the annual Simpsons promotional calendar?

     I must confess something. I have an addiction...to the Sunday night programming on HBO. It started with Sopranos, but then it just snowballed with Entourage, How to Make It in America, Bored to Death, Boardwalk Empire and Eastbound and Down. As you may have noticed, all but one of these shows have run their course, which means I am now going cold turkey trying to find something to quench my Sunday night fix until the new season of Boardwalk Empire kicks up in the fall. Some of you are probably saying "But Dan, one of HBO's top rated shows True Blood is coming on soon. Why don't you watch that?" Sorry folks, but I am not into all the vampire crap out there, and unless you are under 10 years old, neither should you. The only other show that was getting me by was Luck, but as many of you know, that was cancelled just over a month ago during production of its second season, and I feel it was unwarranted.

     The show Luck was about Chester "Ace" Bernstein, a career mobster, has just been released from a three-year prison sentence. Gus, his long-time friend and driver, has become the owner of "Pint of Plain," a promising Irish racehorse. Ace immediately begins making plans to take control of the Santa Anita racetrack in Los Angeles, while simultaneously plotting revenge against the ones he holds responsible for sending him to prison. They show had a lot of drama, and plenty of side stories involving other unique characters. In regards to ratings, the official series premiere, which was shown on January 29, 2012, generated 1.06 million viewers. The viewership reached its second lowest mark with the seventh episode at 474,000 viewers. Now I chalk this up to the fact that the show started off very slowly, with a lot of verbiage, character And plot development. This went on for a few episodes longer what most people would tolerate. Also, a few of the characters had accents, or spoke with a harsh tone, that was sometimes difficult to understand. Aside from those criticisms, the show was really good and started to get much more interesting toward the end of the season. In fact, HBO had such good faith in the show; they renewed it for a second season early in the first season. Then two episodes into filming the second season, they cancel it.

     It wasn't the criticisms that I stated that got the show cancelled. They had some unfortunate accidents with the horses during filming of the show. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), criticized Luck over the injury and euthanization of two horses during filming for the pilot and the seventh episode. Both horses received injuries to their legs during racing scenes that were deemed inoperable by several of the onsite veterinarians. Now, this wasn't  something that was HBO's fault. These things do happen in the racing world, and HBO even took precautionary lengths to ensure horse safety, like limiting the amount of runs any one horse would do in a day to 3, followed by plenty of rest, plus they had a full veterinary staff on site. However, with ratings sliding toward the end of the season, and a third horse being injured and euthanized during filming of the second season, HBO decided to cease all production of the show. After paying off the show’s production contracts and talent among other things, HBO and parent company Time Warner ended losing 35 million dollars on the show.

     Now I know Luck had it's share of bad luck (no pun intended), but it should not have been cancelled. Now that it has, I am not quite sure what to do until Boardwalk Empire comes back. They do have another show that looks promising called The Newsroom which is set behind the scenes of the fictional Atlantis Cable News (ACN) and centers around anchor Will, his new executive producer Mackenzie MacHale, newsroom staff Maggie, Jim, Sloan, Neal, Don, and their boss Charlie Skinner, but that doesn't come out until June 24th. So until then, I guess I will wait anxiously, chewing on one of my promotional pens, looking for the next show to keep me entertained.

In advertising, the consumer doesn't necessarily want to hear the truth.  For example, we all know that if you want to slim down, no magic product is going to make it happen.  You've got to eat right, exercise, and work hard.  Yet if you turn on the TV, open up a magazine, or sign onto the Internet, you're quickly introduced to dozens of supposed quick fixes including fad diets and weight-loss pills.  People want what's good, and unfortunately that's not always what's real.

At some point in last night's episode, Peggy, Megan, Don, Roger and Jane all face a similar inner conflict:  How can I be honest when nobody, including myself, wants to hear it? The episode's narration and structure are confusing to say the least, but that just adds to the evidence of this struggle.

Throughout season five, Peggy's been fighting with herself over the same issue.  Will she ever be trusted and respected as much as her mentor Don is?  At a second meeting with Heinz, she proudly unveils a new ad she thinks the company's rep will love. She argues that it delivers exactly what he asked for, and yet because Don's not there to back Peggy up, another one of her pitches gets rejected.  In Don's absence, Peggy decides to act how he would:  She's brutally honest.  But she's not Don, and the rep doesn't want to hear the painful truth from a woman.  Peggy's taken off the account.

Megan, Don's wife, is facing a similar battle.  While she and Don are certainly still in the "honeymoon phase" of their life together, she can't seem to stand up for herself.  Her judgment is clouded because he is, after all, not just her husband but also her boss.  Each time Don drags her away from work to have some fun, deep down she knows what's right -- she should remain at the office until her assignments are complete.  But she can't seem to bring herself to be up-front with him.  That is, until all the built-up tension culminates during a vacation-gone-wrong.  Their fighting comes down to one thing:  Megan can't be everything that Don wants her to be -- a good mom, a fun toy, a loyal employee and more -- and it's eating away at her.

When Megan does finally snap at her new husband, he can't handle the truth.  He plays the victim, when in reality his controlling attitude is what's bothering Megan to begin with.  After several agaonizing hours, the two seem to make up.  Don holds her closely and whispers sadly, "I thought I lost you."  But if this happens every time Megan and Don have to confront reality, I can't see their relationship lasting.

If you've tuned into season five, you already know that Roger's bored with his wife Jane.  But what the audience didn't understand until last night is how Jane feels.  The two attend a dinner party that's being hosted by some of Jane's friends including her psychiatrist.  Roger grudgingly agrees to experiment with drugs at the party after Jane pleads with him, claiming that it may help repair their relationship.  But what actually happens is something nobody expected:  They both acknowledge that their marriage is over.

The next morning, after the drug has left her system, Jane's hurt.  Despite the fact that she and Roger mutually agreed that their relationship is a disaster, once the reality sinks in for Jane, it's awful.  Meanwhile, Roger acts as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders; he clearly never cared about her.

The truth is a strange thing.  Generally, we have trouble being honest with ourselves and with the people we love.  We'd like to believe that being honest is always best, but in the end, most people aren't willing to accept reality.  Now that Peggy, Megan, Don, Roger and Jane have confronted how things really are, can their characters continue to grow and develop? Or will the nasty side of truth keep them stuck?

     Well California, you're doomed. I know you guys were hit hard with the state of the nation's economy, but I did have hope for you guys. However, that all changed when I heard the most damaging news to your great state; "Kim Kardashian plans to run for mayor of Glendale California." I know folks; it sent shivers down my spine as well.

     It pains me to think that someone of that "caliber" would want to ruin a town like that. She is not someone who is fit to run a hot dog stand, let alone a town. Now I am sure some of are saying, "Well Dan, she is very successful and cofounded a company, she must be smart and business savvy...right?" Well, my theory is that she is pretty and rich, so smart and savvy are not as necessary. Her beauty and booty got her the notoriety she embraces today, and her money gets her the people she needs to run a company. Kim is merely the mascot. The only thing scarier about her running for mayor is any person out there willing to vote for her. But don't worry Glendale, there's a city out there that is trying to out-shine you.

     Not to be out-done, in my neck of the woods, Alec Baldwin announced that he is still considering a run for mayor of New York City. How great! Someone who is completely full of himself from the suburbs and not the city, dictating his policies, which I am sure will be "so beneficial" to residents of NYC. If he were on the ballot in 2017, I think I might do something as drastic as vote current Mayor Michael Bloomberg for a fourth term. However I would take Baldwin over Kardashian as mayor any day.

     Maybe I am judging these television stars too soon. Perhaps Kim will use her charm an appeal to make the town a more beautiful place, or Alec may use his influence and strong or forceful personality to change things for the better. After all, I am only basing my opinion and what I see on television, and not on the actual people themselves. All I know is, it won't be long before we all start seeing people wearing promotional t-shirts showing their support for the potential candidates.

If I'm being completely honest, I've never liked Pete Campbell. He's immature, smug, and plays dirty. Of course I understand that Mad Men needs at least a few antagonists, and I'm always thrilled when Don puts him in his place. But in Sunday's episode of Mad Men, it isn't Don who flips out at Pete's horrible attitude; it's Lane.

Throughout the episode, Pete doesn't seem like his normal self. Sure, he's just as arrogant and rude as ever. But there's something else: A tinge of sadness, and maybe even desperation. He doesn't seem satisfied with anything, although he seemingly has it all. And that dissatisfaction leads him to do things he wouldn't normally do like flirt with an underage girl and visit a brothel.

Another character who seems frustrated with his life is Lane. He wants to contribute more to SCDP, but doesn't quite know how. When he meets a Jaguar rep while celebrating the World Cup with his wife and her friends, he's basically handed new business. But the exciting prospect of bringing in a big account gets to Lane's head a bit, and he doesn't want to take any advice from veterans Don, Pete and Roger. Instead, he tries to win over the Jaguar representative single-handedly, and doesn't quite cut it. Don, Pete and Roger step in and take the rep to a brothel, a move that later loses the account.

The next day at a partner meeting, Lane barges in and demands some answers: How did they manage to lose Jaguar? Pete throws out some particularly hard-hitting insults, and Lane's had enough. The two get into a fist fight while Don, Roger and Bert watch, very clearly unsure about how it will pan out. To say I'm ecstatic when Lane punches Pete out is an understatement; as Joan says so eloquently: "Everyone's been waiting to do that to Pete." 

Ken also seems a bit confused in this episode, but not for the same reasons as Pete and Lane. I wouldn't say he's unhappy with his job or personal life, but he's got another dream he wants to pursue: Writing. He's prepping to publish a book of 20 short science fiction stories. But after Ken's wife reveals his hobby at a dinner hosted by Pete and Trudy, Roger somehow catches wind (we have to assume Pete couldn't keep his mouth shut). He advises him to make SCDP his life, not penning sci fi novels. Still, at the end of the day Ken returns to his pastime in the comfort of his own bed.

Surprisingly (or not-so-surprisingly, based on his behavior this season), Don's remained grounded. He doesn't look at one woman at the brothel and he doesn't get involved in Pete and Lane's fight. Best of all, his relationship with Megan is thriving. I really, really hope he doesn't mess this up; their marriage epitomizes happiness.

Will Pete gain control of his life and learn to be happy with what he's got? How will Lane move forward from his tiff with Pete? Is Ken going to be discovered for his writing? And how long will Don be able to hold onto Megan? We'll have to keep watching to find out!

     Well folks, it's that time of the year. The weather is getting warmer, and the grass is getting greener. We are finally getting into the season of the American tradition known as...crab fishing? That's right, crab fishing. Tonight marks the premiere of the eighth season of Deadliest Catch, which happens to be my favorite show. Judging by the commercials, this season is going to leave you on the edge of your seat!

     For those of you not in the know by now, Deadliest Catch is a reality series on the Discovery Channel that follows several crab fishing vessels out into the Bering Sea in search of "red gold" (crab).This profession is known as the most dangerous and deadliest profession in the world, and this is no lie. I have been watching this since the very beginning, and aside from plenty of injuries, there are people that were once on the show, that aren't anymore.  The show also allows the viewer to watch and connect with the crews on each ship. You see frustrations, anxiety, joy, and sorrow. I have watched young greenhorns grow up into full share deckhands. I have also witnessed men weep over the loss of loved ones and fishing legends (R.I.P. Phil Harris). This Emmy award winning show is also one of a few shows out there that shows one of the many ways a boy can become a man. Through strength and determination, they overcome ridiculous obstacles to bring home Alaskan King Crab.

     So what does this season have in store for our favorite sea cowboys? Well aside from the huge ocean swells, freezing rain, sea ice and the sub-zero climate, their crab quota has been cut in half. That means they will only be able to catch half of what they usually catch in a season, meaning less money to make. Let's not forget about the sons of the late Phil Harris. From the commercials, it appears that the Harris brothers are no longer working on their father's ship. Instead, they are working on two separate vessels, the Time Bandit and the Northwestern. I wonder why they would do such a thing, but I guess there's only one way to find out. Put on your Deadliest Catch promotional t-shirt, and grab a seat because tonight at 9PM EST Discovery Channel will air the one hundredth episode season premiere or Deadliest Catch.    

Up until the fourth episode of Mad Men season five, the biggest question on my mind has been "where's the Don I used to know?"  While his marriage to Megan is still new, his apparent disinterest in other women is nothing short of baffling.  Since the series' inception, Don's been a flat-out womanizer.  No girl -- not his ex-wife Betty, not his client/love interest Rachel Katz, and not even his confidant Dr. Faye Miller -- could keep him from cheating.

But in season five, Don's been playing it cool.  His new wife Megan is not only beautiful, but she's also smart, good with kids, and determined to make him happy.  He's not even tempted by other women, and why would he be?  That is until he runs into a former love interest, Andrea, while riding in the elevator with Megan.  Megan's not happy about the encounter, but Don insists that whatever he had with Andrea is in the long-forgotten past.

Still, something bothers Don.  And the anxiety he feels makes its way into his dreams, which the audience gets to see (and for a while may think is real).  In his nightmare, Don fights with temptation.  Andrea sneaks into his apartment and seduces him.  And unfortunately he's not strong enough to fight it.  This is the Don we used to know, a man who would never say no to a chance with an attractive woman.

But there is one difference:  Don doesn't seem to want it.  It's as if Andrea is evil; she's trying to ruin his marriage, his happiness.  The audience is relieved when Don wakes up and realizes he's been alone all night.  And there's the stunning Megan, taking care of his fever.

The paranoia Don sees is also felt by other characters.  For example, Peggy's insecure about her standing at SCDP, and Sally (Don's daughter) is freaked out by a string of murders in Chicago that's making headlines.  Joan's nervous about her future with her husband, and Don's new secretary, Dawn, is anxious about the city's civil rights violence.

Here's the thing about paranoia:  It's often grounded in reality.  And I have a feeling that the struggles facing Mad Men's characters won't be going away soon.

After the first episode of Mad Men's season five, we were left with a few questions.  Where's Betty?  Is Don a changed man?  How will Roger prove he's still relevant and valuable?  And, most importantly, what's with all these changes?

Betty

Episode two opens with Don's ex-wife Betty (finally -- the suspense was killing me!), and it's obvious that she's put on weight.  And a lot of it.  She's embarrassed, but doesn't seem to know how to handle the situation.  Unable to fit into her clothes, Betty doesn't even feel comfortable leaving the house. As if to offer contrast, the next scene opens with the gorgeous and slender Megan getting ready beside Don.

Betty visits the doctor and is expecting to be prescribed diet pills, but instead is confronted with troubling news:  She's got a tumor on her thyroid.  When she can't get in touch with her husband, Henry Francis, Betty immediately turns to Don.  "Say what you always say," she pleads.  He responds, "Everything's going to be OK."   That sinking feeling in your chest? That's you beginning to feel sorry for Don's notoriously cold-hearted ex-wife.

Throughout her life, Betty's survival has been dependent on looking good.  From her modeling career to existing solely as Don's trophy wife, being pretty is all she's ever known.

After undergoing tests, she finally receives a call from the doctor.  My heart is racing -- could she have cancer?  When Betty discovers her tumor is benign, she almost seems upset.  It's as if she was relieved to be able to blame her weight gain on a health condition.

Don

If you're like me, you're still wondering whether or not Don will return to his old ways.  The "new Don" is best exemplified by how he's dealing with one potential client, Heinz.  Usually he fights for what he believes in, but lately he seems to be content with giving in to his clients.  This time, Don for some reason agrees to try to persuade the Rolling Stones to record a Heinz beans ad jingle. Come on, this is crazy!  The old Don would never attempt such a ridiculous endeavor.

But, with the help of his new wife Megan, he seems genuinely happy, and that's rare.

Roger

Roger's still struggling to prove how important he is to SCDP ad agency.  And it's definitely a struggle.  He puts everything he's got into signing Mohawk Airlines, despite the fact that the company's got a mountain of debt.  Still, the firm snags the airline, and Pete, who's slowly but surely becoming Roger's nemesis, calls everyone together to give a toast.  However, it's clear that all Pete's really concerned with is blatantly disrespecting Roger.  It's a huge slap in the face.

Other important moments:

• In episode one, SCDP out an equal opportunity help wanted ad (originally intended to serve as a dig at Y&R).  The firm was overwhelmed by dozens of African American applicants looking for work.  Don hires a black woman named Donna to be his secretary, a first for SCDP, demonstrating his nonjudgmental nature; if you're a hard worker, you're OK in his book.
• Betty runs into an old friend at the doctor's office, and the two really hit it off.  Could this be the start of a real friendship for Betty?
• Peggy interviews Michael Ginsberg as a copyrighter, and is initially unimpressed; he makes an awful first impression.  But he insists that his work speaks for itself and, thanks to a nudge from Roger, Peggy introduces Michael to Don.  He manages to turn on the charm, and Don is impressed -- he's hired!

As the episode closes, the juxtaposition of Betty versus Megan is clearer than ever.  Megan, the beautiful optimist, continues to prove that she can make Don happy; she brightens up his life.  Meanwhile, Betty's alone in the kitchen, looking bloated and unhappy, finishing off Sally's ice cream.

Everything -- from Don's personal life and Betty's appearance to the inner workings of SCDP -- is changing.  And while change can be good, there's an uneasy feeling in the air.  I can't help but echo Roger when he asks, "When is everything gonna get back to normal?"

     As we begin the month of April, we're getting closer to an important day in television history. April 5th will mark the 25th anniversary of the first signal broadcasted by FOX television. Since 25 is a big milestone, it should come as no surprise that FOX will be celebrating this achievement with a T.V. anniversary special. They announced that they have one in the works, and while it appears that they do not have a host for the special yet, it does include a reunion of the stars of the beloved (by me, atleast) sitcom Married with Children.

     To celebrate, Fox will be doing a special revival of In Living Color. They also plan on getting David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, and X-Files creator Chris Carter for a segment in which hopefully they will answer all the unanswered questions left in the shows wake. Other former Fox stars, including Beverly Hills, 90210’s Shannen Doherty, Jason Priestly, Gabrielle Carteris & Ian Ziering, Ally McBeal’s Calista Flockhart, and The Tick’s Patrick Warburton are also set to appear on the special. Now here's my favorite part, FOX is also bringing Married with Children’s Ed O’Neill, Christina Applegate, Katey Sagal, and David Faustino back together to salute the comedy series and pay tribute to Fox’s most memorable moments.

     Married with Children is one of my favorite shows of all time. It was funny, raunchy, and it was the beginning of a shift in television. Sitcoms used to be like The Cosby Show, where it's one big happy family, and everything is all sweet and innocent. Married with Children changed all that, and can be credited in shaping the way television shows are made today. The anniversary show airs on April 22nd at 8pm, and hopefully I can find my "NO MA"AM" promotional t-shirt in time.