Well folks, the news I have been dreading to hear is upon us. For those of you who haven't heard by now, the TV show "Alcatraz" has been cancelled by FOX. Much like the real inmates of the prison for which the show is named after, the show was unable to escape the harsh scrutiny of the network.

     In case you were frozen in carbonite for the past six months, "Alcatraz" was about the supposed closing of the Alcatraz prison on March 21, 1963. The premise of the show is that it wasn't closed due to unsafe conditions, but due to the fact that all the prisoners and guards have vanished without a trace. You find out that the disappearance was a government operation, and a special agency was developed to handle the prisoners when they returned to modern day San Francisco. However, the prisoners return with no recollection of where they were, along compulsions to find certain objects and to continue their criminal habits. The show started out strong with 10 million viewers, and it had renewed the public's interest in the actual Alcatraz prison. It got to the point that the National Park Service has had to install warning signs for its public tours. Fans of the show had broken away from tours in an attempt to find the "nerve center" that is shown underneath the prison.

     While the show started out high viewership, unfortunately it did not last. It aired on Monday nights, and once other shows on other networks started their new seasons, people left "Alcatraz" to go back to their shows. After that happened, the ratings fell. If FOX just put the show on Wednesdays at eight, when NOTHING is on, Alcatraz would have done just fine. I find it unfair that a TV show suffers because all networks are clamoring to be the Monday night king. So because of the unwillingness to change the time slot, they decided to cancel the show, and piss off plenty of viewers who will never know why these prisoners have come back. I just wonder what they will do with all those left over "Alcatraz" promotional t-shirts they won't be able to sell.

     Let's face it, Lady Gaga is HUGE. Her music is widely popular, and her likeness is easily marketable and profitable. She is a power house in the music industry, and everyone knows who she is. She is known for her outlandish acts and wardrobe, but also uses that notoriety to push a message that it's OK to be different. A message like that resonates well with all, especially a younger generation that has been hit hard with bully epidemic. So with a personality that encompasses so much, it should come as no surprise that Lady Gaga will be a guest on "The Simpsons".

     For those you living under a rock for the last 25 years, The Simpsons is an animated sitcom created by Matt Groening for FOX. The series is a parody of a middle class American lifestyle as animated through family of the same name, which consists of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. The show is set in the fictional town of Springfield and parodies American culture, society, television and many aspects of the human condition. The Simpsons is the longest-running American sitcom, and the longest-running American animated program. The Simpsons has won dozens of awards since it debuted as a series, including 27 Primetime Emmy Awards, 30 Annie Awards and a Peabody Award. So as you can see, being a part of this show is an honor.

     Gaga is set to appear in this season's finale of the Simpsons, airing Sunday, May 20th. In typical Gaga fashion, she will have 18 outfit changes in the show, as well as a song a song that teaches Lisa that individuality beats conformity. I feel this is a great way to end this season, and I cannot wait to see how this turns out. Who knows, maybe she will make it into the annual Simpsons promotional calendar?

     I must confess something. I have an addiction...to the Sunday night programming on HBO. It started with Sopranos, but then it just snowballed with Entourage, How to Make It in America, Bored to Death, Boardwalk Empire and Eastbound and Down. As you may have noticed, all but one of these shows have run their course, which means I am now going cold turkey trying to find something to quench my Sunday night fix until the new season of Boardwalk Empire kicks up in the fall. Some of you are probably saying "But Dan, one of HBO's top rated shows True Blood is coming on soon. Why don't you watch that?" Sorry folks, but I am not into all the vampire crap out there, and unless you are under 10 years old, neither should you. The only other show that was getting me by was Luck, but as many of you know, that was cancelled just over a month ago during production of its second season, and I feel it was unwarranted.

     The show Luck was about Chester "Ace" Bernstein, a career mobster, has just been released from a three-year prison sentence. Gus, his long-time friend and driver, has become the owner of "Pint of Plain," a promising Irish racehorse. Ace immediately begins making plans to take control of the Santa Anita racetrack in Los Angeles, while simultaneously plotting revenge against the ones he holds responsible for sending him to prison. They show had a lot of drama, and plenty of side stories involving other unique characters. In regards to ratings, the official series premiere, which was shown on January 29, 2012, generated 1.06 million viewers. The viewership reached its second lowest mark with the seventh episode at 474,000 viewers. Now I chalk this up to the fact that the show started off very slowly, with a lot of verbiage, character And plot development. This went on for a few episodes longer what most people would tolerate. Also, a few of the characters had accents, or spoke with a harsh tone, that was sometimes difficult to understand. Aside from those criticisms, the show was really good and started to get much more interesting toward the end of the season. In fact, HBO had such good faith in the show; they renewed it for a second season early in the first season. Then two episodes into filming the second season, they cancel it.

     It wasn't the criticisms that I stated that got the show cancelled. They had some unfortunate accidents with the horses during filming of the show. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), criticized Luck over the injury and euthanization of two horses during filming for the pilot and the seventh episode. Both horses received injuries to their legs during racing scenes that were deemed inoperable by several of the onsite veterinarians. Now, this wasn't  something that was HBO's fault. These things do happen in the racing world, and HBO even took precautionary lengths to ensure horse safety, like limiting the amount of runs any one horse would do in a day to 3, followed by plenty of rest, plus they had a full veterinary staff on site. However, with ratings sliding toward the end of the season, and a third horse being injured and euthanized during filming of the second season, HBO decided to cease all production of the show. After paying off the show’s production contracts and talent among other things, HBO and parent company Time Warner ended losing 35 million dollars on the show.

     Now I know Luck had it's share of bad luck (no pun intended), but it should not have been cancelled. Now that it has, I am not quite sure what to do until Boardwalk Empire comes back. They do have another show that looks promising called The Newsroom which is set behind the scenes of the fictional Atlantis Cable News (ACN) and centers around anchor Will, his new executive producer Mackenzie MacHale, newsroom staff Maggie, Jim, Sloan, Neal, Don, and their boss Charlie Skinner, but that doesn't come out until June 24th. So until then, I guess I will wait anxiously, chewing on one of my promotional pens, looking for the next show to keep me entertained.

     Summers are a huge time for the movie and entertainment industry, and there tends to be one blockbuster movie and a few others that just get by. Every once in a while comes a summer filled with a lot of movies that people want to see, and this summer appears to be one of them. With releases coming out like "The Dark Knight Rises", "The Amazing Spiderman", "The Avengers", "The Expendables II", etc., I will surely be spending a lot of my time and money at the local theater.  However, I think there is a movie coming out that will do better than most people think, and that movie is called "Ted."

     Ted is a comedy about a man named John (Mark Wahlberg) makes a Christmas miracle happen by bringing his one and only friend to life, his teddy bear that is small enough to fit in a personalized tote bag. The two grow up together and John must then choose to stay with his girlfriend (Mila Kunis) or keep his friendship with his crude and extremely inappropriate teddy bear, Ted (voiced by Seth McFarlane). Seth, (who is the creator of almost the entire Sunday night lineup on FOX with Family Guy, The Cleveland Show and American Dad), is also the writer and director of this movie, which is his first theatrical work.

     I was skeptical at first, until I saw the trailer online. After that, I cannot wait until mid-July to see this movie. It looks so funny. Plus, the humor is an adult humor, which is raunchy at times, and is something that has been missing for the past year or two. The comedies that have been released are more for a younger crowd that may not be able to see a rated "R" movie, which is the rating that "Ted" has.  I am glad that the creator of Family Guy is also the creator of this gem of a movie. I am a fan of his work and it seems to translate well from a cartoon to a feature movie. I know it will do well, and I recommend anyone who is a fan of his work or has a sense of humor to see this movie. 

     Well California, you're doomed. I know you guys were hit hard with the state of the nation's economy, but I did have hope for you guys. However, that all changed when I heard the most damaging news to your great state; "Kim Kardashian plans to run for mayor of Glendale California." I know folks; it sent shivers down my spine as well.

     It pains me to think that someone of that "caliber" would want to ruin a town like that. She is not someone who is fit to run a hot dog stand, let alone a town. Now I am sure some of are saying, "Well Dan, she is very successful and cofounded a company, she must be smart and business savvy...right?" Well, my theory is that she is pretty and rich, so smart and savvy are not as necessary. Her beauty and booty got her the notoriety she embraces today, and her money gets her the people she needs to run a company. Kim is merely the mascot. The only thing scarier about her running for mayor is any person out there willing to vote for her. But don't worry Glendale, there's a city out there that is trying to out-shine you.

     Not to be out-done, in my neck of the woods, Alec Baldwin announced that he is still considering a run for mayor of New York City. How great! Someone who is completely full of himself from the suburbs and not the city, dictating his policies, which I am sure will be "so beneficial" to residents of NYC. If he were on the ballot in 2017, I think I might do something as drastic as vote current Mayor Michael Bloomberg for a fourth term. However I would take Baldwin over Kardashian as mayor any day.

     Maybe I am judging these television stars too soon. Perhaps Kim will use her charm an appeal to make the town a more beautiful place, or Alec may use his influence and strong or forceful personality to change things for the better. After all, I am only basing my opinion and what I see on television, and not on the actual people themselves. All I know is, it won't be long before we all start seeing people wearing promotional t-shirts showing their support for the potential candidates.

     Well folks, it's that time of the year. The weather is getting warmer, and the grass is getting greener. We are finally getting into the season of the American tradition known as...crab fishing? That's right, crab fishing. Tonight marks the premiere of the eighth season of Deadliest Catch, which happens to be my favorite show. Judging by the commercials, this season is going to leave you on the edge of your seat!

     For those of you not in the know by now, Deadliest Catch is a reality series on the Discovery Channel that follows several crab fishing vessels out into the Bering Sea in search of "red gold" (crab).This profession is known as the most dangerous and deadliest profession in the world, and this is no lie. I have been watching this since the very beginning, and aside from plenty of injuries, there are people that were once on the show, that aren't anymore.  The show also allows the viewer to watch and connect with the crews on each ship. You see frustrations, anxiety, joy, and sorrow. I have watched young greenhorns grow up into full share deckhands. I have also witnessed men weep over the loss of loved ones and fishing legends (R.I.P. Phil Harris). This Emmy award winning show is also one of a few shows out there that shows one of the many ways a boy can become a man. Through strength and determination, they overcome ridiculous obstacles to bring home Alaskan King Crab.

     So what does this season have in store for our favorite sea cowboys? Well aside from the huge ocean swells, freezing rain, sea ice and the sub-zero climate, their crab quota has been cut in half. That means they will only be able to catch half of what they usually catch in a season, meaning less money to make. Let's not forget about the sons of the late Phil Harris. From the commercials, it appears that the Harris brothers are no longer working on their father's ship. Instead, they are working on two separate vessels, the Time Bandit and the Northwestern. I wonder why they would do such a thing, but I guess there's only one way to find out. Put on your Deadliest Catch promotional t-shirt, and grab a seat because tonight at 9PM EST Discovery Channel will air the one hundredth episode season premiere or Deadliest Catch.    

     As we begin the month of April, we're getting closer to an important day in television history. April 5th will mark the 25th anniversary of the first signal broadcasted by FOX television. Since 25 is a big milestone, it should come as no surprise that FOX will be celebrating this achievement with a T.V. anniversary special. They announced that they have one in the works, and while it appears that they do not have a host for the special yet, it does include a reunion of the stars of the beloved (by me, atleast) sitcom Married with Children.

     To celebrate, Fox will be doing a special revival of In Living Color. They also plan on getting David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, and X-Files creator Chris Carter for a segment in which hopefully they will answer all the unanswered questions left in the shows wake. Other former Fox stars, including Beverly Hills, 90210’s Shannen Doherty, Jason Priestly, Gabrielle Carteris & Ian Ziering, Ally McBeal’s Calista Flockhart, and The Tick’s Patrick Warburton are also set to appear on the special. Now here's my favorite part, FOX is also bringing Married with Children’s Ed O’Neill, Christina Applegate, Katey Sagal, and David Faustino back together to salute the comedy series and pay tribute to Fox’s most memorable moments.

     Married with Children is one of my favorite shows of all time. It was funny, raunchy, and it was the beginning of a shift in television. Sitcoms used to be like The Cosby Show, where it's one big happy family, and everything is all sweet and innocent. Married with Children changed all that, and can be credited in shaping the way television shows are made today. The anniversary show airs on April 22nd at 8pm, and hopefully I can find my "NO MA"AM" promotional t-shirt in time.

     Well folks, in stark contrast to my previous post, it looks like I have some good news to report on in the entertainment industry. Last night on TBS's Conan, Will Ferrell graced the nation with his presence as one of the my all-time favorite characters Ron Burgundy, to announce that there will be a sequel to his 2004 hit "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy." For those of you who were so overcome with excitement and passed out, I will pause here and wait for you to regain consciousness.

    If you haven't seen "Anchorman" yet, please do. It's a very funny movie about the character Ron Burgundy, who is San Diego's top rated newsman in the male dominated broadcasting world of the 1970's. However, that all changes when a new female employee with ambition to burn arrives in his office. The movie is filled with guest appearances, and it shows a different (and probably fictional) side of the news room. I highly recommend that you all watch and get yourself acquainted with the legendary Ron Burgundy.

     The audience at the Conan show last night went crazy when they heard the smooth and sensual sounds of the jazz flute, because they knew that was the signature sound of San Diego's favorite, the legendary Ron Burgundy. As the crowd roared, Ron steps out from behind the late night band and begins to stroll down the steps in his wine-colored suit while serenading us with his chromed instrument. Once finished, he engages in some friendly banter with Conan, commenting how great his friend Andy looks, while looking disgusted with Conan's appearance, exclaiming that he should “Go into your doctor’s office and point at your face and say, ‘Doc, it’s a page-one rewrite.’” Almost as an afterthought, Burgundy got around to the point of his appearance: "I want to announce this to everyone here in the Americas, to our friends in Spain, Turkey and the U.K. — including England — that as of 0900 mountain time, Paramount Pictures and myself, Ronald Joseph Aaron Burgundy, have come to terms on a sequel to ‘Anchorman’."

     As you can tell, I am really excited about this. "Anchorman" is one of my favorite movies, andI cannot wait to see him in his classic suit drinking his scotch at work from his promotional ceramic mug. I have been patiently waiting for years, sifting through all the rumors and apparent battles between the movie executives, for the sequel to come out. Also, I am not the only one who is excited about this. When I woke up this morning, this announcement has been broadcasted on every news station. The nation is abuzz with Ron Burgundy, and we all cannot wait for what  the next installment of "Anchorman" will bring us. "You stay classy, Planet Earth!" 

    In case you, my loyal fans, haven't figured it out by now, I hold a special place in my heart for the marketing campaign done by Dos Equis involving the Most Interesting Man in the World. In this day and age when marketing of alcohol involves commercials with men doing stupid and pointless acts, it's a breath of fresh air to see commercials that involve a man who has seen it all, done it all, is the best at any task at hand, and even though he doesn't always drink beer, when he does, he prefers Dos Equis. I am sure you all of seen the new commercials that began airing last week with the witty one liners narrated over videos of his amazing feats that he has accomplished. Plus, I am sure that you have even come up with a few lines of your own. Actually, I know you have because at any given day, hundreds of fans on Facebook put up their lines about the over-the-top antics of the Most Interesting Man. Well my friends, you're in luck, because the Most Interesting Man will be selecting one of YOUR lines to be featured in the next advertising piece. Unfortunately, the only people actually in luck right now are the top 64 that were chosen earlier this week.

     Starting last week, Dos Equis created a competition through Facebook, where fans can submit their lines. Once submitted, you must spread the word throughout Facebook and get your friends to vote for your line. If you are one of the top 64 chosen by Facebook and Dos Equis, you have secured your spot in the Dos Equis Legendary Line Postseason bracket. That's right folks, in the spirit of March Madness, this competition is setup just like the NCAA brackets, and you are pitted against one another to see who has the best line. How is the better line chosen? By voting, of course! The top 64 now have to spread the word through Facebook and get the votes they need to beat their opponent and move on to the next round. The contestants must repeat this process through each round until only one is left as the winner. That winner gets the honor of having their line used in the next advertising piece of the Most Interesting Man. Four  runners-up will each receive a promotional award inscribed with their line.

     Was your line not picked? No problem, you can still win a prize. Either you can be chosen at random to win one of the 300 promotional shirts available, or you can fill out a bracket predicting which lines will win which round. Similar to creating a NCAA March Madness bracket, you pick which line will win each round all the way to the final winner. The top ten winning creators of the brackets will each get a personalized sports jersey with the Dos Equis logo and their last name on the back. This is the route I have to take since MY line wasn't chosen. I know, I am just as shocked as you are.

     So I say to all those looking to participate; "Good Luck!" You will need it. After all, this is the Most Interesting Man in the World we are talking about here. The stakes are higher and the prizes are grand. The exposure and bragging rights are well worth the effort to participate in the competition. May the best man win, and of course, "Stay thirsty my friends."

     Good afternoon my faithful followers, and what an amazing day it is in New York during the month of March. Days like today tend to make people happy because it that makes them realize that spring and summer are right around the corner. However, today I am upset because I just found out some horrific news. Brace yourselves, because what I am about to tell you will blow your socks off. Ready? I have just been informed that the Discovery Channel has let go of my favorite television personality, Bear Grylls, and will no longer be filming new episodes of "Man vs. Wild". There are tissues here for those who need them.

     This came as such a shock to me. "Man vs. Wild" is one of my favorite shows. I loved to watch where he was going, what disgusting things he would eat, and what predicaments he would get into and out of every Thursday night. Whether he was in a tundra, island, forest, or on a mountain top, he was always able to use his wit and the resources around to solve any problem that would arise. He would even deliberately put himself in compromising situations, just so he could demonstrate how to get out of them.  It was exhilarating watching him jump into quick sand, into near frozen waters, or even watching him dangle off a cliff from a rope he made  from vines and a hook from deer antlers. He would eat some of the most god-awful things, which was half gross, and half entertaining. There is no better reaction than the one you get when you see a really fat grub literally explode out of his mouth after he sinks his teeth into it. He was charming, charismatic, and you learned a lot from him. At least once a month, you would see or hear something in the news about a person being lost in the wilderness for days, or someone drowning and a good samaritan saves them, and when interviewed by a reporter, the person would say that "they wouldn't have been able to survive or save someone without learning from what they saw on Bear Grylls."

     Now I'm sure you are asking yourself this question: "Now Dan, why would Discovery Channel ever do such a thing?" Apparently the answer is "contractual disputes over new programming". That could mean a multitude of things right now. However, this isn't the first time Discovery Channel had "contractual disputes" with people from their shows. I believe it was two seasons ago when the Hillstrand brothers and Sig Hansen from my favorite television show "Deadliest Catch", were being sued by Discovery Channel for breach of contract, which then resulted in the Hillstrands and Sig quitting the show. Thank God the two sides worked out their differences and the show is back on.

     I hope the same thing happens for "Man vs. Wild". Maybe both sides will work out their differences and I can get back to watching Bear Grylls sharing his knowledge of survival with the world. However, should "Man vs. Wild" no longer happen, I better snag a promotional ceramic mug before it sells out. Regardless if Discovery Channel brings him back or not, I feel this will not be the last we will hear of Bear Grylls.