My fellow nerds,

Consider this an open letter to all the sci-fi nerds, comic geeks, and TV lovers who will not be attending "that thing out in San Diego." This week marks a sad week for us my friends. It is the week when the "c" word starts infiltrating our Twitter streams, RSS updates and blog posts. I am, of course talking about Comic Con. I, like many of you, will not be attending.

It's not for lack of trying, though. The amount of times that I've pitched the Comic Con experience under the guise of "content research" to the powers that be here at Motivators is innumerable, but the conversation seemingly ends up going something like this:

Me: It's a valuable opportunity to check out what great TV related promotional products are out there. What are shows doing to reach out to their fans? What's hot in terms of TV merch this year? This is completely work related.
Boss: Will that guy from Bones be there?
Me: Yes.
Boss: No.

Apparently, no matter how many awesome custom tote bags, custom room keys, custom water bottles and other things will be given out at "that thing in San Diego" the powers that be are content with letting me sit in my corner and blog about what everyone else is getting (including close to David Boreanaz.) Unrelated sidenote: my iPod just started playing Never Gonna Give You Up. I think it sensed I was on the verge of tears and is trying to cheer me up, but I digress.

So my fellow nerds, I implore you to remember something this week. As you sit on the couch in your mom's basement or at your desk with one of your dual monitors dedicated to your comic-con twitter list remember that there are journalists out there doing their damndest to get the best scoop for you. Without folks like Michael Ausiello, Marisa Roffman, Alan Sepinwall, the teams at Give Me My Remote, Zap2It, Entertainment Weekly, TV Guide, Fancast and more, we wouldn't have half the scoop we're going to be getting.

Sure, we'd have the attendees regular updates and with the fabulous invention of that stalking service known as Twitter, this information as easy to follow as ever. But, the journalists have learned the art of what I like to call "twit-scooping." They can get primo scoop in 140 characters.

Even better, they have that wonderful little press pass, which gives them up close and personal access to your favorite celebs and showrunners. One word: twit-pics! They'll go ask some ballsy questions trying to get scoop...and they're doing it all for you.

For you, the guy on the couch in your mom's basement.

For you, the guy trying to stealthily hide the fact that underneath that three piece suit, you are a giant dweeb.

For you, the blogger who could be writing about all the swag that you're getting because it actually does relate to your job but your bosses are too busy being concerned with the fact that you could be a "liability" if you're in the same room as David Boreanaz. (Ok, that's mostly me and I'm mostly kidding.)

Seriously though, before we all attack them with more questions and use them as our venting/griping/whining/complaining/sounding boards let's say one big giant Thank You to every journalist that will be walking amongst guys dressed as Wookies just for the scoop on our favorite shows. May you all live long and prosper.

And just remember, every tweet that gets sent you to that says "I hate you!" really means I love you. Now if you'll all excuse me, I've got to get back to weeping in my corner.

I absolutely love the reality show Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami on E!.

Wow, it feels so much better to finally admit it. Nowhere else can you find such a delicious variety of drama and entertainment as what the Kardashian girls deliver. I'm not exactly sure what does it for me - in principle, I despise reality television with the fire of a thousand suns. The concept alone represents everything that I frown up in our steadily decomposing society. It teaches children not to take responsibility for their actions, and drags traditional values through a giant puddle of materialism and opportunistic behavior. People watch reality TV shows and idolize these caricatures, vicariously living through them and romanticizing about their problem-free lives. Nothing is actually "real" in reality TV shows. The storylines play out like sitcoms, where trivial conflicts arise and are resolved in time for the closing credits. The scary part is that these are not really actors playing a role, but rather living, breathing humans who vote.

With that being said, I have slowly and subconsciously watched Kourtney & Khloe make a complete hypocrite out of me on this issue. Every Sunday night, I find myself having somewhat of an out-of-body experience when I tune in, as if I'm doing something I'm not supposed to be doing, but watching myself do it anyway. It just hurts so good. Never in my life did I think I would sprint to the bathroom during a commercial break to make sure I'm back in time to find out if Scott is going to apologize to Kourtney, or if they are going to break up. How I came to have an emotional investment in the lives of these value-ridden strangers, I have no idea. But somehow, it happened.

I mean, who could forget the time that Kourt went on a boy-crazy rampage, or the faithful episode when Khloe pulled out drugs on her radio show, Khloe After Dark? What about when the girls took a drive through Florida, and ended up getting lost in the Everglades? I was biting my nails through that whole show, hoping it would turn out OK. 

I think it all started a year or two ago when I began desperately trying to Keep Up With the Kardashians, though it's rather impossible with their hectic lives. (This is probably when the seed of my reality TV love-hate complex was planted.) I always liked Kim, but felt she was naturally a bit of a drama queen and secretly wished E! would create a spin-off show for the other sisters. When it finally happened, I can rememeber saying to myself, "OMG Yay!" and running to the TiVo box with one arm extended in a fist like a reality TV watching superhero, so I could view the premiere of the first season on repeat while shoving handfuls of buttery popcorn in my mouth. It surpassed my wildest expectations, and I have lived a double life since then. In fact, this is the first time I am publicly admitting to watching the show.

Now that this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I want the whole world to know that I love Kourtney and Khloe. Come on girls, we're taking over Miami, wooo! 

Yes, I did it again. I read a spoiler. What else is new? I mean, seriously. For as many times as I say that I can quit and go cold turkey, if I hear of a spoiler and I immediately flock to it like the salmon of Capistrano. Even yesterday, I told Dan when my birthday surprise was going to be. Sure, he tried to play it off that the boss really did need to see us to discuss product descriptions but I know better. (Props to 3 of my team members for shoving themselves behind a cubicle though) But back to the spoiler...I'll give you guys a chance to not be ruined.

 Turn back now if you don't want a Bones spoiler....

 
I mean it...now's your only chance....

 
Alright fine...you asked for it...

 
According to TV Guide, when Bones returns in the fall Seeley Booth will not return alone. He'll come back with a *gasp* girlfriend! A journalist who "embedded herself with his unit in Afghanistan." So those pterodactyl-like shrieks that you heard last night were the Bones fans reading and absorbing the news. Although, I feel like I already knew this. There were hints of this around the time of the season finale, but the details of who the gf actually was were null. Now we know and I find myself thinking that there's several reasons why this isn't a bad thing. In fact, there are 10 of them and you can read them below.

10. Journalists have gotten a new pick up line courtesy of that spoiler. "I'm a journalist. May I embed myself with your unit?" (Courtesy of @stamos on Twitter!) PS: So using this during Fleet Week. Do Navy guys even have Units? You know what? I don't care.

9. Because Hart Hanson doesn't get yelled at nearly enough on Twitter from the Booth/Brennan fans and it'll feed his masochistic side.

8. New nicknames! With the arrival of Dr. Bryar we were graced with some good ones. I'd offer some suggestions, but since I don't know her name I can't think of any goodies & I did always want to coin an awesome fan-based nickname...oh! What about the rewhoreter? Kinda like reporter...no? Well it's still early. I've got time.

7. The possibility of Booth getting some on a regular basis means the possibility of a drastic increase of shirtless DB scenes. Surely, we can forgive little grievances if they result in a drastic decrease of apparel on one Seeley Booth.

6. Longing looks from her. Does anyone do heart crushed better than Emily Deschanel? Though the spoiler does say that she'll encourage this atrocity, I still expect to see some Emmy-worthy scenes from her.

5. Longing looks from him. The only one who might do heart crushed better than the fabulous Ms. D is the Boreanaz. That man could emote a page in phone book with the right look and convince us that we really need the services of an overpriced injury attorney.

4. With the recent heat waves across the country, people are being advised to stay inside. You can enjoy air conditioning by making voodoo dolls! Poke, poke, poke...

3. Shirtless DB scenes. Yes, I know I said it before, but it warrants mentioning again.

2. See numbers 3 & 7.

1. Because it has to happen.

For as much as we all want Booth & Brennan together, and for as many people that scream that putting them together wouldn't be the end of the show, there's too high a possibility that it could be. Plus, think of all the great storylines we'll be getting with this one. Booth feeling tortured that he can't be with Brennan, thinking he made a mistake. Booth trying to move on and failing. Brennan feeling heart crushed that she missed her moment. Brennan finally opening her eyes to the possibility of a life without Booth. Here in the world of web writing, we have a saying "Content is King." Basically you can have the prettiest, shiniest little website but without some meat on its bones, it's useless. Bones is better than that. So lets all trust @HartHanson and @squarechicken to lead us down the right path. I think that all Bones fans know deep in their hearts that everything happens eventually. So let's just trek down that path to eventually and have some fun in the meantime.

My plan for Saturday was set in stone: a mimosa and my hammock, except it got blown to all hell when I realized that my remote actually worked. After a few simple clicks, I landed on My Life on the D List. I've seen Kathy Griffin many times before, but never actually invested the time for a marathon. So my mimosa and my tanning (rather lobstering) was briefly put aside as I watched Kathy decide to destroy her house with no plan and was briefly concerned her mother might have had a heart attack when she found out she ripped out the bar. Up next La Griffin went topless to be airbrush tanned at a Kiddie Pagent and then she headed to Alaska to chill with her soulmate Levi Johnston (yes, Bristol Palin's baby daddy). Kathy's life on the D list was a hilarious train ride to wreckville and I couldn't look away...until I flipped a channel and found the Kardashians.

I've got one gripe with the full family show: why don't they bring Bruce anywhere? As Kris recounted to him the story of a drunken Scott shoving a hundred dollar bill down a waiter's throat, he casually repled "You're lucky I wasn't there. I would have punched Scott right in the face." And the ratings would have sky rocketed. Speaking of Scott, he's like the Spencer Pratt of their lives but better because he's a parent. I don't think I've laughed harder than when he walked in on the sisters trying to administer a butter remedy to a home bikini wax burn. He simply stood there holding his son, observing the situation taking place atop his kitchen counter top and offered one simple thought:

"This is normal?"

It's so not and that's what makes it so awesome. Whether it's Gordon Ramsay screaming at a poor chef over scallops, Kathy Griffin taking make-up tips from a 7 year old (she needs 100 glitter, please) or Khloe Kardashian telling her brother-in-law that he's a sociopath with murder in his eyes, I love knowing that the "normal" lives of these people make me seem...well, normal.

On this, Canada Day, I feel that I have to say thanks to our great Northern neighbor for all the wonderful gifts she's bestowed upon us. Sure, the general sterotypes allow us to think that all Canadians do is drink beer while watching hockey and end every comment with the word, Eh but that's not true. They're aboot so much more than that. (That one wrote itself, I swear.) The truth of the matter is that you may not know some of that some of the greatest influences in Hollywood are from the Great White North. Let's take a look at some of the best Canadians in the TV industry.

 Alex Trebek: On SNL, Will Ferrell deadpanned as the Jeopardy host, putting up with jabs from Sean Connery calling him a Canadian ponce, but we're willing to wager that the TV game show industry wouldn't be the same without this Ontario native.

 Jim Carrey: If anyone ever doubts that Canadians are funny, just look to Ontario's own James Eugene Carrey. Whether he's wearing a tutu while shouting football plays in Ace Ventura or letting the world know the importance of fire prevention as Fire Marshall Bill on In Living Color, he gives his country a great sense of humor.

 Eugene Levy: Another hilarious Canadian hailing from Hamilton, Ontario, where would we be without Jim's Dad's awkward speeches to his son in American Pie? In addition to comedy, Levy also served as an acclaimed writer on such titles as For Your Consideration and Best in Show.

 Hart Hanson: The writer and showrunner of Bones holds his MFA from the University of British Columbia proving that Canada only produces intelligent and witty success stories. In addition to serving as a consulting producer on Joan of Arcadia, he's also held the title of Executive Producer on the hit Judging Amy and enjoys Sunday morning coffee with fellow Canadian Dave Thomas.

  Alanis Morissette: Best known for her music, Ottawa native Morrisette has delved into acting with guest roles on hits such as House and Weeds. While her single You Outta Know (written about fellow Canadian Dave Coulier) serves as the ultimate angry female anthem, she's found happiness with another Canadian: Ryan Renolds.

Just think of how different life would be without these wonderful individuals. So cheers to you Canada, on this wonderful Canada Day! Don't ever thing that we here at Motivators don't appreciate you and all your wonderful contributions to society. Oh, and we're sorry about perpetuating the stereotype with this hat: